Friday, December 11, 2009

On my own

Sorry that I have not posted in a few day but to be honest it was for the best! If I was to post a few days ago, I would have vomited all my frustration and no one would enjoy this blog anymore!!  so now I have a battle raging inside of myself. I want so badly to get up in the morning excited to cease the day, but I find myself sad, I feel like it is just one thing after another. If I have to hear one more time oh you need to pay for this I might just go postal. I am trying so hard not to feel overwhelmed or scared but I am not feeling so optimistic. Just when I think ok, no more it is going to be smooth sailing form here and it's not. Ryan and I were not allowed to exchange our tickets till the 16th of January ARE YOU KIDING!! We had to make the executive decision and Ryan is going home on the 14th of December and I had to buy a new ticket, so Ryan and I ate $1000 bucks.  I should be Happy despite our set backs, if Paul can remain in Christ locked up in jail, I should be able to see what an amazing miracle this whole process is. I really can't see it, I am certain I will soon. For now I will just keep on keeping on. unbeknownst to us Ryan had to sign papers at the embassy before he left so we franticly had to get him on a train to get back to Kiev so he could sign 2 forms, silly really as we always thought that sense I was the primary on the INS paperwork that my signature was the only one needed (just another example of uncertainties). Now he sits in Kiev and waits to leave for home on Monday.  I miss him and Oleg was very sad today that papa was not there. When I first go there tonight Oleg started yelling for papa it was so sweet, Ryan did call and Oleg was able to talk with Ryan on the phone, even though we had no idea what he was saying. on a lighter note Oleg is starting to repeat the English words that we are teaching him, the one he knows without prompting is banana he loves bananas. He knows please and thanks you, goodbye, hello, and up, I do believe that he will catch on fast. Please keep every adoptive family in your prayers we are ALL struggling and we ALL need the prayer!!
Here is a picture of us entertaining ourselves with a monopoly game we got in a happy meal at MacDonalds, pathetic really. This was the night we attempted to make Fettuccine Alfred but sweet cream was bought instead of cream it was not that good but we ate it anyway and imagined that it was the really deal. 

 here are some picks of our little bugger!!!!

the Dehanns and I went and got lunch a this turkish burrito place, they are sooooo good and the cook was sooo nice gave me a big hug and he took a picture with me, made me realize that my frustration here is not the people, just the system could be better. I promise I will post more!! I love you all!!!


Anonymous said...

We are rowing in the same frustration boat as you, but God is able! You are in our prayers!

Anonymous said...

We're happy to kill some time with Ryan since we're in Kiev. Leave your Ukraine cell phone number on our blog and we will write it down, but not post it.

Alan said...

That turkish burrito thing is called a sharma. They are delicious and reasonably priced. Our family ate our share while we were in Odessa and the Sharma guy was very frirndly with us as well. One day I took a picture of him and his wife, took it down to the phone shop and made an 8x11 print. They loved it and free sharmas after that.

Alan said...

sorry, meant to say the "photo" shop. Blessings to you!

Melody said...

Love you, cutie. Hang in there.

Kari said...

It seems like almost everyone hits that breaking point at some time in their adoption process. Mine was when they said the passport computer broke down, and they would have to send it to Kiev to fix it as it was the ONLY one in Kherson, and it would take a week to fix the computer. Hang in there and know that a lot of people are praying for you. You are blessed to have Americans in the same town!

Patti and Dad said...

Ohhhh Girl - you break my heart.
It's got to be tough when things keep coming up - but be strong and face them head on. We are glad that you have good friends to stay with in both Donetsk and Kiev - so you are not totally alone. They are all there to help you through this too.
Just keep thinking only 3 more days and he will be totally yours !!! No more caretakers to interfere. Then you will be on the last leg of your journey - COMING TO AMERICA !!!
He is such a cute little guy. WE can't wait to get our hands on him and give him a big hug.
Be Strong Girl - call anytime you need to day or night. We love you and will see you in 10 days !!!
Tell the Dehaans I have been reading their blog and they are also in our prayers.

Laura Mac said...

You are strong sister and you WILL get through this. It will only make you a more wonderful and loving mother.

Lawton and I love you very much!